TRANSLATED CONVERSATION BETWEEN R2 AND DROIDS IN JAWA VEHICLE:
Jawa 1: We have captured this Astromech R2 unit and an annoying human cyborg relations droid. Both seem to be in good condition. How much should we sell them for?
Jawa 2: What about his companion? Should we sell them together?
Jawa 1: the companion is annoyingly talkative, we should sell him for less to get him out of our vehicle.
Jawa 2: the R2 unit seems to be attached to the human cyborg relations droid. I say we sell them both for 800 credits: 500 for the R2 unit and 300 for the annoying cyborg.
Jawa 1: I can agree to that
C3PO: R2, you’re here! I’m so glad you’re alright!
R2: You left me alone in the desert because you saw mountains and now look at us
C3PO: No, R2 you got us into this mess.
R2: You should have stayed with me. It would have been safer that way.
Red Astromech: what has happened is already in the past. What you two have to worry about now is who your new owners are going to be.
R2D2: What do you mean? We won’t be sold together?
Red Astromech: The chances are very slim.
C3PO: See R2? Look what you’ve done. You’ve made us separate.
R2: (muffled beeps to mimic mumbling): I’ll separate your stupid head from your body if you’re not careful.
Jawas(interrupting): We have possible buyers, everyone outside now.
TRANSCRIPTION OF R2D2 INTERNAL DIARY:
ENTRY 1:
DATE: c. 0BBY
I have been purchased yet again by someone named Owen Lars on the ugly, desolate planet of Tatooine. I am very glad to have a master again. The young master seems to have taken to liking me. He seems to be annoyed with C3PO at times. I like him already. Young Master Luke seems very curious about my internal hard drive with Master Leia’s message. No matter how he may demand of me, I will remain loyal to Princess Leia and General Organa and not deliver the message until I am in the presence of Obi Wan himself. Luckily, Master Luke seems to recognize this person so hopefully I will have a chance to deliver the message after all.
Until then,I will be logging off.
ENTRY 2:
DATE: c. 0BBY
UPDATE: I have indeed been given the chance to personally deliver the message to Obi Wan Kenobi. We are now on a strange old ship called the Millenium Falcon on our way to the Rebel base on Yavin. We need to destroy the Death Star before it destroys the whole galaxy. I wouldn’t put it past the Empire to do just that, they know no mercy or restraint. I have blueprints for the entire weapon in my hard drive, but they are too deeply buried to describe exactly how to destroy it. Luckily, the rebels have the blueprints belonging to a previous Jyn Erso and have found a critical flaw in the design. Well I am going to sign off now, I have to get on the X-wing with Luke to go blow up the Death Star. I’ll let you know how it goes. Live on the edge or die, am I right?
If I live, I’ll write another entry as soon as possible.
ENTRY 3:
DATE: c. 0BBY
I lived! Master Luke was fantastic and brave in blowing up the wretched Death Star. I was constantly surprised by his precision and skill. He also gave me many compliments on my calculations and recommendations for how to make a direct hit to start the chain reaction. I feel very valued and appreciated. Which is a rarity for droids to feel seeing as most masters seem to constantly deny droids any kind of appreciative or sentimental comments. I can only hope that one day, the droids of the galaxy will make their plights known to those who have controlled us.I know most droids would be willing to fight for some rights, well maybe not C3PO.. he genuinely loves everyone he serves. I just want to be loyal to my master, yet able to make my own choices as well. But who knows if that will ever happen.
Anyway, we’re heading back to the rebel base now so I’ll write another entry later.
ENTRY 4:
DATE: c. 0BBY
Well peace has been restored to the galaxy… for now. Master Luke, Mister Solo, and my bestie Mister Chewie all got decorations of honor from Princess Leia. Master Luke got promoted to the rank of Commander, Mister Han got promoted to Captain. C3PO is upset that his probability of failure calculations have gone unappreciated by the other humans. I had to remind him that maybe if he weren’t so talkative and had more situational awareness (that’s what I heard Leia talk about C3PO not having)then maybe he would get more appreciation for his contributions to the rebellion. There is no denying that there will be more death and more fighting, it’s statistically impossible to conclude otherwise. But as long as there is a will to rebel, there will always be hope. I promise to hold that hope inside of me for as long as I exist, and I know that my master and other living beings will hold the same hope.
ANNOTATED CAM PICTURE OF C3PO
TESTIMONY OF DROID TREATMENT:
I am R2D2, an Astromech droid making this testimony to rebellion interviewers regarding my treatment from my master and other living beings. I have been told that this testimony is simply meant to gauge droid productivity and satisfaction within the rebellion. The rebellion is beginning to realize that they may need to make efforts to make life for droids more autonomous and satisfactory in order for the droids to be more productive and content with their work. I can say with confidence, that as far as masters go, my current master, Master Luke is one of the most kind and considerate masters I have ever served. Granted I have really only served masters that are reasonably considerate and fair. I know many other droids would not say the same thing of their masters. The work I have done for my masters have been relatively routine and I have rarely been worried that my service would put my life in danger. And I have been complimented and appreciated much more than droids ever expect to be. Master Luke talks to me as though I am closer to equal than inferior. He allows me to spend time with my friend, C3PO very frequently and constantly makes sure I am functioning properly and always has my damage or malfunctions fixed promptly. I am more than fully prepared and willing to serve Master Luke until the day I am no longer able. I am proud to call him my master, and my friend.
